WARNING - Intelligent Malicious Computer Programs

First off, a couple notes:

• Liberation Sans is used as it's metric-compatible with Arial and gives off that "bureaucracy" feeling, just like Arial. I suggest against subbing it out for another font, like Calibri, Roboto, Fira Sans, etc, as they all are much more "natural" looking fonts. Liberation Sans is exactly the right level of stuffy.
• SCREAMING YELLOW is used to ensure your printer uses whatever the brightest yellow it can produce is; in practice, on consumer inkjet printers, it becomes a more dandelion shade of yellow. For laser printers, it may in fact be a nearly nuclear shade of yellow. You may want to change the colors, under the Extras section.
• The two sticker-looking things have a fake shadow on them to make them look like they are actual separate stickers from a generic sticker sheet, haphazardly plastered on the main sticker template. The effect is surprisingly convincing in real life.
• You really do have to handwrite the stuff on the upper sticker. I suggest an ultra-fine point Sharpie. Further detail at the bottom of the page.
• The sticker is roughly 4x2 inches.
• The laptop I used this for is an enterprise laptop with BIOS features allowing you to do global drive encryption and show an asset tag on screen; I set the asset tag to "INTELLIGENT MALICIOUS COMPUTER PROGRAMS IMPROPER USAGE MAY ENDANGER YOUR LIFE" to help sell it, as it appears on the POST screen. The global encryption also delivers on the passcode promise made in the sticker.
• I, at best, orbit the SCP community. I don't spend entire days reading SCPs, have never written an SCP, and have only read a handful of SCPs — most of which relating to qntm's excellent Antimemetics series. However, I enjoy the concept, and was inspired by Twi's boot screen.
• You should check out the SCP wiki if you haven't.
• A previous version of this generator used a spiral galaxy image from an unknown source, and that some people felt had an uncomfortable resemblance to a swastika. I had selected this image while the project was still in the "personal one-off" phase. I've replaced it with a five-armed design that is entirely my original work.

Paper Size

Letter A4

SCP Identifier

Twi's uses 5257, mine uses 3775. We chose these as they are SCP slots that are not populated and cannot be populated due to a Wikidot bug; the SCP community refers to this phenomenon as the "slot goblin". The SCP wiki admins may eventually fix these slots and open them again for editing. (Some people have been talking about trying to get articles in these slots that relate to the sticker/bootscreen, but there's no guarantee that will happen.) These slots have now been populated, and none of them have anything to do with computers. 3775 is something about a house, and 5257 is a drawn-out poop joke. It was fun while it lasted.

Others have suggested using 1900, an SCP actually talking about an anomalous computer virus. One of these three was selected for you at random.

It's worth noting I later learned 3775 used to have something in it, and some unofficial collations of the SCP database still have it. It was a (apparently not very good, hence its deletion) entry relating to the Anafabula, a metafictional entity that eats fictional realities. Fitting.

More info

Asset Identifier

This is included in the "IDENT TAG" barcode. It's prefilled with some random hex numbers.

Your Job Title

Your job at the SCP Foundation. Defaults to "Researcher".

This whole thing is pre-wrapped, so be careful what you put here. If it's too short or too long it will mess up the text wrapping.

Your First Initial

Redact
This is used to identify you in the barcode along with the job title. On my sticker, I set this to "U" as my name is Una. This results in the sticker asking readers to request "Researcher U" when calling. If this is longer than one glyph wide it may exceed the bounds of the sticker, depending on how you format your phone number.

"Redact" will replace it with a black censor bar. I feel this is bad, as it's unrealistic (why would you redact the way people can contact you to return the laptop?) but it's provided as some people like it.

Your Phone Number

Redact
This is used to identify you in the barcode. It suggests readers call this number and ask for you as described above.

If you're putting this on a laptop you expect to lose, you should be prepared to answer calls asking for you in this way and adopt an SCP-style diction and do a lot of bureaucratic nonsense if you want to really sell it.

This entire generator runs in your browser. I can't see your phone number.

"Redact" will replace it with a black censor bar. I feel this is bad, as it's unrealistic (why would you redact the way people can contact you to return the laptop?) but it's provided as some people like it. Won't work if you change the job title or use a long "initial".

Extras

Sticker Rotations

Prefilled with a random value. Makes the fake stickers more convincing. Extreme values may cause the stickers to overlap.

Corner Stamp

A meaningless number in the corner of the main stamp to make it appear more "official". Theoretically represents the individual sticker template that was printed. Defaults to "23".

Triangle Stamp

Some meaningless text in the inverted triangle to the right of the WARNING text. I copied this from Twi's bootscreen, and don't know what it means, if anything. Defaults to "KM".

Colors

Base
Use inkjet default
Use laser default

Mask
Use default

Text
Use default

Warning
Use default

Sticker
Use default

Sticker Text
Use default

Make sure to disable margins when printing and set the scaling to 100%!
Firefox's SVG renderer prioritizes legibility over geometric correctness; I've done all I can do to try to make it behave, but it still produces jittery stairsteppy messes for the rotated stickers. I recommend downloading the SVG and rendering it in Inkscape, if you can't use Chrome. (I'm a Firefox user myself — this is just the sad reality.)
Print Download

If you download the SVG, you need to install the fonts it uses:

• Liberation Sans Regular
• Liberation Sans Bold
• OCR A
• Libre Barcode 39

You do not need to install the fonts if you print direct from the browser; these fonts are included in the page as webfonts.

I recommend printing on matte sticker paper. You should do proofs on normal paper first to make sure it looks how you want. You will then want to trim the sticker to the 4x2 inch size using a guillotine cutter. If you don't have one, scissors will do in a pinch.

There's some extra bleed on the sticker, which gives you an error margin when cutting and avoids having white visible on the edges. You can use the black separator bars as a guide.

The handwriting part

With your marker or pen in hand, here's what you need to do to finish up your sticker:

• Make up an operation ID and write it under "APPR FND OP".
  • How about ?
• Write the SCP number () under SCP PTR IDENT.
• Circle Sf, Ec, or Kr under PTR CLS EN depending on if the object is Safe, Euclid, or Keter.
• Cross out VS if you want. I don't know what it being crossed out is meant to mean.
• Make up an authorization ID and put it under AUTH SPEC PID.
  • How about ?
• Circle "cntn" under RSTRC BOUND HWND if this laptop is a containment device for the SCP in question. (and only cntn, n and x have other meanings)
• Write four lowercase letters under SUP RSR. I don't know what this stands for.
  • How about ?

Don't worry too much about your handwriting legibility; in-universe these would be being written haphazardly by researchers who are very busy doing other things, just to comply with O5 policies.